Shattered Homes And Dark Days

I was at Shaw House Lido yesterday, catching a 9.15PM screening of Revolutionary Road, starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. The advertisements had to play first as usual and among one of them is this film-like commercial released by The Ministry of Community Development, Youth And Sports (MCYS). It has suspicious signs of Royston Tan's direction.

(To view the ad, click here [Family].)

Ironic..... come to think of it...... a commercial promoting the happiness of family life just before a film about the tragic life of an American couple is about to start. Seriously, it kinda leaves a sour humor on me, for people out there (and higher up) trying so hard to convince Singaporeans of the happy, 'feel-good' conclusions of getting married and having children, not mentioning the other crucial need to meet our decreasing resources of able bodied young men for National Service . If we are honest with ourselves (especially for those shallow movie goers who have been laughing throughout a very gritty film), Revolutionary Road should paint the real image, of what means to follow whatever the country says and pay the price.

It is also a reflection of my own family.

No longer, did I feel as much hope as I can for this household. Where Mum manipulates and control to have her way. Where Dad could do nothing but rely on anger and threats to preserve his authority. Where sister insult and hurt at will cos she could not give a damn anymore. Where the most stable relations is with Rac, my other sis and Creamy, my ever fluffy joy of a Shih Tzu. Other than that, all is civil war.

War.

All those years, the unforgiveness and the bitterness is the hardest thing to shake away. The horrifying possibility of becoming like my parents is a thought I can't lightly dismissed for what they are is already coming to me.

And I don't want to. I will never ever by choice.

I resolve that I should not act or behave like them. Even after this morning, there's so much to pray and move on away from the sins of the family.

I will find peace. Eventually.